Do you know that (I think) zen story about the master pouring tea for his know-it-all pupil? The one where he keeps on pouring as the tea overflows the cup? The lesson is that in order to learn, it’s important to empty the vessel of preconceived notions and allow the tea to be poured into an empty cup.
That story is talking about your mind. Your heart is very different.
If you have someone who needs a lot of your love and attention, you’ll know that feeling of being completely wrung out after giving and giving to them. This might be children, your partner, parents or friends.
The root of the problem is this: our ability to give meaningful love and energy to others is finite and eventually the vessel (your heart) becomes empty.
And even if there’s no one who specifically fits those descriptions in your life right now, we live in a world that needs a hell of a lot of love. Subjects that we are of social media and 24/7 news that hammer away at all but the psychopathically distanced, our containers are being drained all the time whether we like it or not.
Hearts are resilient things though, at least in this regard, and given time for some self-care they will fill back up again. But if all you ever do is pour out, you’ll find there comes a point where you’re trying to get something good from a vessel that’s empty. Doing this opens the gate onto that terrible path towards burnout.
All of us need time for self-care to fill that container back up again. We each need space for ourselves to refill the vessel, to recharge our batteries. What we do will look different for each person. For me it’s about relaxing with music or a good film (and NO distractions). You need to find what works for you. Maybe, if you can, lean on someone else for a while too?
Without wishing to burden you further, there’s a lot that we need to get filled back up for. If you’re the kind of person who relates to a blog like this, you probably understand this anyway. Our families, friends and colleagues may need us. The world at large definitely needs us. And we need to be in good condition to take on those responsibilities. With hearts full of love, bodies full of energy.
So how will you look after your own heart? Because you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Image credit – Me. It’s a sketch in my notebook (drawn at very low ebb) which got me thinking about the subject of this post.
That Richard Bloke 