Mindfulness.
Some people swear by it, some people swear at it.
I’m going to come right out of the blocks declaring that I am a big fan of it. I think that there’s a lot of negativity around mindfulness because of twee internet memes, or the false promise that it’s a quick fix. It’s definitely a fix but not a quick one.
Let me start with a brief (personal) history lesson:
Back in 2021 I’d been feeling quite shit for a long time. I found myself in periodic black moods with no joy or enthusiasm for things that I used to find enjoyable. It had gone on for some time and I blamed the stresses of a promotion at work a few years earlier. But in 2020 that job ended and while I felt good for a while, the dark periods returned.
Being a bloke I hesitated speaking to my GP about it for, ooooh, several years. But by late 2021 I’d had enough so I gave the doctor a ring. I’m not sure why I thought he’d be otherwise, but he was nothing short of incredibly helpful and understanding. After asking me some questions about how I was feeling he said (and I paraphrase):
“Well it honestly sounds like you’re mildly depressed and I could prescribe you something if you’d like me to. But there may be other ways that you can manage this.”
I said I wasn’t keen on medication just yet, having seen some of the side effects that close friends and relatives had experienced. So he continued:
“OK now don’t laugh at this or think I’m fobbing you off. What I’m about to tell you was suggested to us as healthcare professionals in the heat of the pandemic and I thought it sounded rubbish, but it’s actually very, very helpful. Tell me, have you ever heard of mindfulness?”
Well I hadn’t really. I mean I might have heard the word, and had made abortive attempts in the past at meditating, but I didn’t know then what it really meant.
“Why don’t you try an app like Headspace?” went on the doctor, “See how you get on and then if you still need something else to help, we can look at medication then.”
So download Headspace I did, and began a journey into mindfulness that continues to this day.
Mindfulness is one of those things that’s pretty simple to explain and easy to do, but sometimes feels really hard and confusing. In basic terms, you find a quiet spot and for a short period of time (5-10 minutes a day is plenty to start with) and just focus on your breath coming in and going out again. Simple eh?
Well no because the mind has a habit of wanting to be really fucking busy and to think about ALL sorts of things when given a moment to be quiet!
“Hey remember that really embarrassing thing you said or did years ago?”
“Don’t forget to file your tax return next week!”
“You really need more orders coming into your business!”
…and so on and so forth. I’m sure this is familiar to anyone that’s tried.
Now beginners can experience this and think “Oh I’m just not cut out for mindfulness. My mind is simply too busy!”
OK I get it and if that’s you, this next point is the most important thing to understand…
IT’S ABSOLUTELY OK THAT YOUR MIND IS BUSY!
We’re not trying to quieten it down in the moment, simply to observe as an outsider might “Oh it’s busy in here today” and bring our attention back to the breath. The point is to observe the thoughts, understand that they are only thoughts and let them go. Over and over again, for the time that we are meditating.
Some days you have to do that a lot and some days not so much. Again one is not any more of a sign of success than the other. It’s just a dispassionate and objective view of what’s happening in your head that day. As you continue with a daily mindfulness practice and build a habit, two things happen:
It gets easier and more enjoyable. Taking a few minutes for myself at the start of the day is something I look forward to in the main. When you enjoy doing something then it becomes easier for that thing to become a habit.
You feel better. A cautionary note: this doesn’t happen instantly. I very rarely finish an individual session feeling on top of the world, but over time and with consistency there is definitely an improvement in my mental health and the positivity of my general outlook. It’s like any improvement process in this regard, no different to losing weight or building strength in the gym: improvements are almost imperceptible in the moment, but the cumulative effect over time is incredible.
Like I said above, I try to make time every day for a short mindfulness meditation. I do at least ten minutes, but sometimes longer if the mood takes. Headspace is great in that there are many different guided meditations, both courses and individual ones, which you can use to help. Having this structure has been really beneficial for me and while I can meditate without the app, I generally use it. There are other apps as well such as Calm and I know that my Fitbit app also has meditations built in. I don’t have any personal connection to Headspace other than I tried it, I liked it and so I’m happy to recommend it to others.
Sometimes I lapse and miss mindfulness practice for a few days. That’s when I notice how effective it’s been because I’ll find myself in a shitty mood then suddenly realise “Ohhhhh I’ve just been busy and haven’t made time to sit quietly observing my thoughts.” Once I get back to meditating regularly, it’s not long before I feel better again.
So yeah mindfulness is a bit of a buzzword, but having tried it and felt the benefits, I’m definitely in the “swear by” camp. There’s far more to this experience than a single blog post can explain, but I’ll post more on specific aspects and benefits in the future.
If my experience sounds like something you could also benefit from, download an app (or just set a timer) and give it a try.
What have you got to lose?
Photo by Chelsea Gates on Unsplash
That Richard Bloke 